Yesterday my girlfriend, Kim, invited many co-workers/friends to meet outside my office area and don hot pink ribbons. As a group, they showed up at my desk and gave me an awesome card that Michelle had routed around.
The plan is to wear the ribbons at work until the day of my surgery. What an awesome show of kindness and support! It means a lot to me that people took the time to show their support and are willing to wear this ribbon in honor of me! Go Team Fembots!!
This is a fabulous idea for people to re-use!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Decision Point C (cup)
Where I work, we refer to times during the blah blah of blah as decision points, using letters from the alphabet (was I evasive enough?).
Given all of the information I have in front of me and opinions of three doctors - all from a "get rid of this tumor!" perspective, one from a woman's "how am I going to look and feel?" perspective - I have decided my course of treatment.
Next Thursday, September 1, I will have a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstructive surgery. During that surgery, they will also "install" a port to administer chemotherapy medication for 5 months following surgery. They will also test the sentinal lymph node for cancer. If it is determined there is cancer there, that is something I will address after surgery. I'm just trying to get to the next step, and not finding it very easy.
Yes, I am at peace with all of this. However, I am still extremely freaked out.
Ok, for the boys in the room, this may be too much information (TMI). And for those boys I work with, don't be looking at me funny in the hall. The plastic surgeon is going to do reconstructive surgery using expanders, then replacing them with implants once my skin is stretched to the desired size - C cup. Thus, decision point C. I have been wanting/needing/hoping for a reduction for years. I joked that I would save the expense and wait to get it done through cancer. Not so funny, ha, ha now. All negatives aside, I am looking forward to having my fembots back to the size they originally came in.
I'm not going to go into why I made this decision, or my thoughts on all of the options. Just know I fully trust I am making the best decision for myself as a cancer patient first, and as a woman second.
Bon voyage "ta tas"! You will definitely be missed. XOXO
P.S. - For those of you wondering, NO, I have not "lost it" yet. But I feel it coming.
Quote for today:
"Tip No. 37: Play Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" so loud that the neighbors call the cops." ~ from the book Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips (gift from John)
This is a passage that I found shortly after I felt some sort of healing after "the great divide". Whenever I am feeling weak, I sort of turn it into a mantra...
Psalm 30: 1-2, 5-7,10-12 (or something of the sort)
I will exalt you, O Lord,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O Lord my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.
...weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken."
O Lord, when you favored me,
you made my mountain stand firm.
... O Lord, be my help.
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
Given all of the information I have in front of me and opinions of three doctors - all from a "get rid of this tumor!" perspective, one from a woman's "how am I going to look and feel?" perspective - I have decided my course of treatment.
Next Thursday, September 1, I will have a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstructive surgery. During that surgery, they will also "install" a port to administer chemotherapy medication for 5 months following surgery. They will also test the sentinal lymph node for cancer. If it is determined there is cancer there, that is something I will address after surgery. I'm just trying to get to the next step, and not finding it very easy.
Yes, I am at peace with all of this. However, I am still extremely freaked out.
Ok, for the boys in the room, this may be too much information (TMI). And for those boys I work with, don't be looking at me funny in the hall. The plastic surgeon is going to do reconstructive surgery using expanders, then replacing them with implants once my skin is stretched to the desired size - C cup. Thus, decision point C. I have been wanting/needing/hoping for a reduction for years. I joked that I would save the expense and wait to get it done through cancer. Not so funny, ha, ha now. All negatives aside, I am looking forward to having my fembots back to the size they originally came in.
I'm not going to go into why I made this decision, or my thoughts on all of the options. Just know I fully trust I am making the best decision for myself as a cancer patient first, and as a woman second.
Bon voyage "ta tas"! You will definitely be missed. XOXO
P.S. - For those of you wondering, NO, I have not "lost it" yet. But I feel it coming.
Quote for today:
"Tip No. 37: Play Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" so loud that the neighbors call the cops." ~ from the book Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips (gift from John)
This is a passage that I found shortly after I felt some sort of healing after "the great divide". Whenever I am feeling weak, I sort of turn it into a mantra...
Psalm 30: 1-2, 5-7,10-12 (or something of the sort)
I will exalt you, O Lord,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O Lord my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.
...weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken."
O Lord, when you favored me,
you made my mountain stand firm.
... O Lord, be my help.
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
How You Can Help
"I will clean your toilet," said one of the engineers I work with. "Even if you just need someone to clean the cat's litter box, let me know," said a friend from high school. Wowza!
I am flabbergasted at the number of people who have reached out to offer help. I will need it. My family will need it. And I am completely okay with being selfish and taking it. I just don't know all that I need at this moment.
Just this weekend alone I am realizing how much the kids require. In the back of my mind as we are doing things around the house, I am thinking to myself - how am I going to do this or that? With help, of course. I intend to create a list of people who have offered help, how they can help, and their numbers. I will also make a list of things we need help with.
For now, this is how you can help:
Join the Especially for You Race Against Breast Cancer, downtown Cedar Rapids, IA, Sunday October 2, 8:00 a.m.
It is a race for breast cancer awareness and funding for those who cannot afford mammograms. Jaime Whitehead, a co-worker, has started a team in my name (Gwen Lange Manning), along with my personal theme for this whole disaster of Team Fembot. Registrations are due by Aug. 28. If you check the box for the $1 t-shirt logo, a Team Fembot logo will be printed on the back of your shirt. Monetary donations are awesome whether or not you can participate in the actual walk/run.
John and Lea are going to be forming a racing team for BikeStock, Cedar Rapids, IA, Hawkeye Downs, Saturday, October 8, 10:00 a.m.
You can join, donate, or come for the day and participate in any of the family activities they will have. I will send a notice when the team is up and running.
Quote for today:
"I needed to hear my friends say. 'I'm bringing over dinner,' without asking me if I wanted them to make dinner or what I wanted to eat. Hell, I didn't know what I wanted to eat. I had bigger problems than food!" ~ S.N., lung cancer survivor
"My friend said, 'If you need anything - someone to clean toilets or punch around to blow off stress - I'm available from 9 to 9:15 this Tuesday.' It made me feel like laughing, because it was an offer, but I didn't have to make a real commitment. ~ S.M., uterine cancer survivor
both from the book Help Me Live: 20 Things People With Cancer Wants You To Know
I am flabbergasted at the number of people who have reached out to offer help. I will need it. My family will need it. And I am completely okay with being selfish and taking it. I just don't know all that I need at this moment.
Just this weekend alone I am realizing how much the kids require. In the back of my mind as we are doing things around the house, I am thinking to myself - how am I going to do this or that? With help, of course. I intend to create a list of people who have offered help, how they can help, and their numbers. I will also make a list of things we need help with.
For now, this is how you can help:
Join the Especially for You Race Against Breast Cancer, downtown Cedar Rapids, IA, Sunday October 2, 8:00 a.m.
It is a race for breast cancer awareness and funding for those who cannot afford mammograms. Jaime Whitehead, a co-worker, has started a team in my name (Gwen Lange Manning), along with my personal theme for this whole disaster of Team Fembot. Registrations are due by Aug. 28. If you check the box for the $1 t-shirt logo, a Team Fembot logo will be printed on the back of your shirt. Monetary donations are awesome whether or not you can participate in the actual walk/run.
John and Lea are going to be forming a racing team for BikeStock, Cedar Rapids, IA, Hawkeye Downs, Saturday, October 8, 10:00 a.m.
You can join, donate, or come for the day and participate in any of the family activities they will have. I will send a notice when the team is up and running.
Quote for today:
"I needed to hear my friends say. 'I'm bringing over dinner,' without asking me if I wanted them to make dinner or what I wanted to eat. Hell, I didn't know what I wanted to eat. I had bigger problems than food!" ~ S.N., lung cancer survivor
"My friend said, 'If you need anything - someone to clean toilets or punch around to blow off stress - I'm available from 9 to 9:15 this Tuesday.' It made me feel like laughing, because it was an offer, but I didn't have to make a real commitment. ~ S.M., uterine cancer survivor
both from the book Help Me Live: 20 Things People With Cancer Wants You To Know
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