Decision Point C (cup)

Where I work, we refer to times during the blah blah of blah as decision points, using letters from the alphabet (was I evasive enough?).

Given all of the information I have in front of me and opinions of three doctors - all from a "get rid of this tumor!" perspective, one from a woman's "how am I going to look and feel?" perspective - I have decided my course of treatment.

Next Thursday, September 1, I will have a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstructive surgery. During that surgery, they will also "install" a port to administer chemotherapy medication for 5 months following surgery. They will also test the sentinal lymph node for cancer. If it is determined there is cancer there, that is something I will address after surgery. I'm just trying to get to the next step, and not finding it very easy.  

Yes, I am at peace with all of this. However, I am still extremely freaked out.

Ok, for the boys in the room, this may be too much information (TMI). And for those boys I work with, don't be looking at me funny in the hall. The plastic surgeon is going to do reconstructive surgery using expanders, then replacing them with implants once my skin is stretched to the desired size - C cup. Thus, decision point C. I have been wanting/needing/hoping for a reduction for years. I joked that I would save the expense and wait to get it done through cancer. Not so funny, ha, ha now. All negatives aside, I am looking forward to having my fembots back to the size they originally came in.

I'm not going to go into why I made this decision, or my thoughts on all of the options. Just know I fully trust I am making the best decision for myself as a cancer patient first, and as a woman second.    

Bon voyage "ta tas"! You will definitely be missed. XOXO

P.S. - For those of you wondering, NO, I have not "lost it" yet. But I feel it coming.

Quote for today:
"Tip No. 37: Play Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" so loud that the neighbors call the cops." ~ from the book Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips (gift from John)


This is a passage that I found shortly after I felt some sort of healing after "the great divide". Whenever I am feeling weak, I sort of turn it into a mantra...

Psalm 30: 1-2, 5-7,10-12 (or something of the sort)
I will exalt you, O Lord,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

O Lord my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.

...weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

When I felt secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken."
O Lord, when you favored me,
you made my mountain stand firm.

... O Lord, be my help.

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.